Trapped
by dragonprincess1988
Summary: He can't speak, can't call out-can't even move. He tries anyway; it doesn't work.
1. Chapter 1

Every day, at 3:45 in the afternoon, a woman comes into his room and slips a needle under his skin. He knows it's 3:45, because she tells him. He's in a hospital-or at least he hopes that he's in a hospital-because if he's not, then he's in an even worse position than he thought. The woman talks, usually to herself, as she goes about her business in the room. He can tell where she is by her voice, and something tells him that that's odd-that most people can't do that, at least not to the extent that he can. It doesn't matter, though. It doesn't change anything. He assumes that she's a nurse, but he doesn't know for sure. He does know, however, that it's the same woman. He can tell by her voice-her soft, sweet voice.

He can't speak, can't call out-can't even move. He tries anyway; it doesn't work. It never has. He can't get anyone's attention. Not that there are many people who come to visit him, wherever he is. There used to be more. He's pretty sure that there used to be more, but lately there's just one.

He wakes up in the middle of the night from terrible nightmares that he can't escape; dreams of clowns, and explosions, and of scarecrows, penguins, killer crocodiles, and so many more. There are clay creatures, a man with half a face, and moving destructive plants; people-he knows that he should know who they are-being hurt and dying. And it pains him, because he can't even scream out. There are dreams of birds and bats, too, but they aren't as frightening.

He cries...sometimes, but he can't sob the way that he wants to; but sometimes-not very often-but often enough, there's a person there willing to hold his hand and smooth back his hair. The person will usually leave a soft kiss on his forehead and whisper, "Tim, calm down. It's just a dream," before slowly moving away; but he never releases Tim's hand...not until he leaves for good. It's comforting, but he doesn't know why. He can't tell who the person is, but he does know one thing.

It's the only person who ever uses his name, or at least, he assumes that it's his name. He doesn't really know anymore. The person is only ever there really late at night...or maybe it's extremely early in the morning. He can't tell, but it doesn't really matter. The man-it's always a man-has a soothing voice, and he always speaks in low tones, as if he's afraid of breaking the quiet all around them. Tim doesn't know how to keep the man talking, because all he wants is for someone to break the silence around him-a silence which consumes him every second of every day that the woman isn't there...cleaning-his brain supplies the word for him-or that the man isn't there...watching him. Watching just seems like the right word to use.

He wants to talk to the man, to get his attention somehow, but the only time that the man moves or says anything is when Tim's heart rate changes-usually from a nightmare. There are monitors...he can hear them beeping in time with his heartbeat, which is another reason why he thinks that he's in a hospital, but there's a part of him screaming that that doesn't necessarily have to be the case. He doesn't know why his mind insists on taking away any amount of comfort that he can come up with, but it gets annoying sometimes. Tim is pretty sure that the man doesn't judge when he needs to move closer by the monitors though...mainly, because the man seems to be there even before the monitors start blaring at them. It's weird, and yet Tim thinks that it's not, all at the same time.

It's so confusing, being in this state. He's missing things, and he knows that he missing things beyond his ability to move and talk. He wants to be close to the man who visits-he thinks that maybe there was a time when they were close. The man often calls him 'little brother' when he's trying to calm him or when he's apologizing to him, but Tim isn't sure that that's the right term...he doesn't know...there's so much that he doesn't know, but he thinks that he used to-he used to know a lot of things that most people don't. He doesn't know why the man apologizes...isn't sure what he's apologizing for, but he is certain that whatever it is, it isn't the man's fault. He wants to tell him that, but he can't. He'll continue trying though; he always does.

The man is there now, sitting quietly, and holding onto his hand. Tim tries to squeeze it; he always does, and nothing ever happens, but trying is all that he has left. For some reason, that thought causes even more pain and depression than he normally feels when the man is sitting there, quietly hating himself for something that isn't his fault-something that Tim himself doesn't even remember. He tries to communicate; he's raised and lowered his heartbeat before to get a reaction from the man, but all that does is send the man into a fit of worry, and Tim doesn't want to do that. He always hates himself when the man worries more than he already does.

There's a new comer in the room. Tim can tell the moment that the man's hand tenses in his. He wants to tense, too, but he can't. He thinks that he may know the new comer; he's not sure, but the man definitely knows whoever it is that's in the room now. "He's not brain dead, you know? The EEG showed that much. You could talk to him. He might be able to hear you, and it sure as hell would beat just sitting here in silence, feeling sorry for yourself."

The man stands immediately, and tears his hand from Tim's. Tim can hear the scrape of metal against the floor from the chair that the man was sitting in being pushed back. Tim misses the hand...wants to scream at him to put it back, but he can't, and he has a feeling that he's never felt this helpless before, and he knows that he's not used to this feeling...or at least that he shouldn't be used to it. The man growls at the other one in the room. "What do you want, Jason?"

The other man, Jason, sighs. Tim knows that name-he knows that he does. He just can't think of why he knows that name-what significance it has. But he definitely knows it-knows the other person that has clearly put the man with warm rough calloused hands-who sometimes cries when he thinks that Tim has returned to a calm sleeping state-on edge. "I just came to see, baby bird. That's all."

The other man is still tense and ready for a fight. Tim can hear it in his voice. "Why? You never have before. He's been lying here in this bed for years, and you've never once come to visit him. Why would you bother now?"

Jason heaves another long sigh, and Tim imagines that he looks exhausted. "Look, the others are dead. It's just you and me now...and, well, baby bird. I didn't come before, because I couldn't; let's just leave it at that, but things are different now, and I don't think that he deserves to be here alone all of the time. Do you, Dick?"

Dick...the man's name is Dick, and that sparks something within Tim. He does know him. He knows that he knows him-and knows him well. He just can't think of how. He knows that the man has called him little brother before, and he knows that that isn't completely accurate, but it's like there's something blocking him from the rest of the information.

"No, he doesn't deserve to be here alone all day, but I don't have any other options." Dick sounds sad now-defeated-like he's lost everything, which Tim thinks is probably accurate.

Jason steps closer. Tim can tell from the sound of his footsteps, which are so much softer than the nurse's, but still discernible in the still and quiet room. "You have me, that is, if you want me."

Dick scoffs at him. "Right. You've spent every waking moment since your return denying that you're a part of this family, and now that there is quite literally no family left, you want to join back up. I swear, you make no sense, Jason."

The two of them start arguing, and Tim wants to shake, scream, throw things, claw at the mattress beneath him, or do something...anything to get their attention. He's here; he can hear them; he's family; they still have him-but he can't. Tim can feel the tears welling in his eyes. He knows the wet cool sensation of the tears trailing down his face, unable to wipe them away, all too well. Not for the first time, Tim wishes that he could breathe on his own, just so that he could sob...just once...sigh...change his breathing just a little to get their attention. He knows that they would pick up on it immediately. They always do, although he's not sure how he knows that. Before Tim can make himself stop crying-he's gotten good at that after spending so many nights alone in the dark after the horrible terrifying nightmares, Jason's at his side, leaning over him. "Hey, why's his heart rate up like that?"

Dick is on the other side of him immediately. "I don't know. That usually only happens at night or early in the morning. I assumed that he was just having a nightmare or something, but his EEG shows that he's awake."

Jason gently places a hand on Tim's shoulder. "Do you think that he knows that we're here? Do you think that he can hear us? Do you think that he can actually comprehend what we're saying?"

Dick slides his hand down onto Tim's, and squeezes very lightly. "I...I don't know."

Tim can't think of anything to do to let them know that he can hear and understand them. If only he could twitch, or blink, or something, then...well, he's not really sure what good it would do, but at least they would know that the time that they're spending with him isn't wasted. Jason squeezes his shoulder a little harder. "Um, crazy idea here, but what if he can hear us and the only way that he can let us know that is by elevating his heart rate."

Dick tightens his hold on Tim's hand as well. "You're assuming that he's still able to control his heartbeat the way that Bruce taught him. That's one hell of a long shot."

Bruce...that's one of the names of the people that he often dreams about...so maybe the dreams aren't nightmares, after all-maybe they're memories, but that would mean that he's... Tim loses the thread before he can actually put it all together. He tries focusing on the conversation happening around him instead.

Jason's hand leaves Tim's shoulder, but Tim can hear metal scraping the ground again, so he assumes that Jason just wanted to sit down. It only takes a few moments before Jason wraps his hand around Tim's wrist. Tim definitely isn't used to this hand. It's heaver than Dick's, and seems to be rougher, but it's still comforting; although it seems strange that it is."Look, I'm not saying that it isn't one hell of a long shot, but it's better than no shot, right? So, what do you say? We tell Tim that if he can actually understand us to slow his heart rate to thirty beats a minute."

There's a long pause, and Tim isn't sure if Dick is going to bother. He doesn't know why Dick wouldn't, but Tim fears the worst...that is, until he hears Dick speak. "Okay, yeah, let's do it."

They speak in unison when they ask him to lower his heart rate to thirty beats a minute, and Tim knows that he can do it, even though he's never tried to lower his heart rate to a specific number-at least, not that he remembers. He concentrates and tries to count. It doesn't take him very long at all to lower it, but it does take more effort for him to make the thirty beats. It's apparently been a while since he's done something like this, and his body doesn't seem to want to cooperate-or maybe it's his emotions causing problems. Tim's too excited about finding a way to communicate to really focus, but he knows that if he doesn't, then he's going to lose all hope of making them hear him.

After what feels like forever, he hears the other two gasp in shock and relief at the same time. Then Dick hugs him as tightly as the wires and tubes will allow. "Timmy...little brother...I..." Tim isn't sure what Dick is trying to say, because he trails off into gasping sobs as he tries to clutch Tim tighter. After a few moments, Dick loosens his hold on Tim, but keeps him arms wrapped around him. "Jason, what are you doing?"

Tim notices immediately that Jason's hand isn't on his wrists anymore, and he can hear Jason walking away. He doesn't want Jason to leave, but he can't get him to stay. No amount of increasing or decreasing his heart rate is going to get Jason to stay when he wants to leave. Tim knows this...he just doesn't know how he knows it. Before Tim can work himself into a proper freak out, Jason stops walking away. "I...I shouldn't be here. I doubt baby bird wants me here. I mean, he has you."

Tim wants to scream at Dick to argue that. He wants Dick to fight and force Jason to stay. Tim may not remember a lot, but he knows that they're family, and it doesn't matter why Jason thinks that he doesn't belong...he obviously does. Dick relinquishes his hold on Tim, and for a split second, Tim is worried that they are both going to leave; but he listens to Dick's footsteps, and immediately calms when they stop mere steps away from the bed. "What makes you think that? I'm sure that Tim wants whatever company he can get right now."

"No, I should have been there sooner. I knew Joker was out, and had an idea of where he was headed. I didn't know that he was after Tim, but I should have gotten there sooner."

Tim can hear the rustle of clothing, and he's pretty sure that Dick is hugging Jason now. "No, come on. It wasn't your fault. No one knew that he was going to specifically target Tim. There was nothing any of us could have done, and I'm sure that Tim doesn't want you blaming yourself. You got him out of there before The Joker could finish him off." Tim can hear the tears in Dick's voice, and he wants to reach out and hold his brothers-more than anything.

"Yeah, because living like this is so much better. Don't you get it, Dick? This is why I've never come here before. I can't look at him like that without hating myself. I still shouldn't be here. I don't belong here." Tim can hear Jason struggling to get out of Dick's hold, and he just prays that Dick has the strength to keep him here. Tim doesn't want to be alone again, and Jason needs to stay-even if it is only long enough for Dick to at least try to convince him that this isn't his fault, and he did his best, and Tim doesn't blame him one bit.

"Jason, we're the only family that Tim has left. We have to stick together...for Tim. You saved his life, and ended Joker's reign of terror for good. I don't blame you for what happened, and I'm sure that Tim doesn't either. You can't leave. We need you. Tim needs you...I need you."

If Tim could move, he'd hug Dick right now-because even if Jason doesn't listen, doesn't believe him, or doesn't care, it's all true. Tim knows that like he knows the square root of 144 is 12. It's irrefutable fact. He just hopes that, for once, Jason will listen. Although, he has a feeling that that doesn't happen very often.

After a few moments, Tim can hear the two of them step closer, and if he could breathe on his own, Tim would let out a sigh of relief, because, for a moment there, he really did think that they were both going to leave, and Tim doesn't think that he could face the silence this soon after finding out that they know he's in here-aware and awake.

Jason grabs a hold of Tim's wrist again. "It's okay, baby bird. I'm not going anywhere, and don't think I didn't notice that spike in your heart rate when I walked towards the door. We know that you're in there, and we're not going anywhere."

Dick takes hold of his other hand, and squeezes once again. "Definitely not going anywhere, little brother. We're all going home together, and we'll find a way to make you better. I promise." Dick leans down and places a soft kiss on his temple.

Jason brushes Tim's bangs back. "Whatever it takes, I'm in."

The End


	2. Chapter 2

It's been months, and Tim's rehabilitation is slow-going at the best of times, but at least they can communicate with him now, which is more than Dick had been able to do for years. Just thinking about that hurts Dick more than he can say. He should have seen the signs-should have recognized that communicating with Tim was a possibility, but instead he was too busy self-loathing and pitying himself. Dick hates himself for how much time he wasted-for how long Tim was trapped in his own head unable to get his attention-because Dick was too preoccupied with his own problems. He wants to turn back time and make it right; make it so that The Joker never got a hold of either one of his little brothers, but Dick knows that he can't. All he can do now is be thankful that that monster is finally gone for good-thanks to Jason.

Now? Now, all he can do is try to find some way to bring Tim back to them fully. Unfortunately, nothing they've tried has been working. None of the doctors who have seen Tim have given a good prognosis, and one even told them that they should be grateful for this much. Tim spent that entire afternoon closed off and silently crying, and Dick had to hold Jason back from gutting the guy open right there. Dick doesn't know how much more of this any of them can take. They're all frustrated, angry, and exhausted, and it doesn't look as though it's going to get any better any time soon. Dick's at his wits' end, and has no idea what to try next. Tim doesn't want to see any more specialists-not that Dick can blame him for that.

Before Dick can continue wallowing, though, Jason bursts into the room and throws himself into the chair near Dick's bed. Dick doesn't get a chance to say anything before Jason throws up a hand to stop him. "Baby bird is asleep. At least I think he is. It's so hard to tell with nothing but a fucking EEG to go by."

Dick nods mutely, and then sighs. "So, where do we go from here?" They've been avoiding the topic for some time. Dick told himself it was to give Jason time to cool off after the last specialist's visit, but he was really just trying to give himself a reprieve before they faced the inevitable.

Jason shrugs as he slumps further into the chair. "I don't know. I think it might be time to consider that terrible-no good-awful idea we've been dancing around since we found out he's awake in there."

Dick's fairly certain that he knows exactly what Jason is talking about, but there's something to be said for plausible deniability. "What do you mean?"

Jason leans forward with his forearms against his legs. "You know damn well what I'm talking about. The Lazarus Pit might be our only option."

Dick shakes his head. "No, I can't believe that you of all people are even suggesting that, and you know that Tim will never go for it."

Jason sighs. "Look, I don't like it either, but what choice do we have? It's been months, and we can't find one single doctor who can tell us that it's even possible to get him back beyond what we have-not to mention, one that can help with that. Face it, we've tried it your way, and that was a bust, so it's time to try something else."

Dick just stares at him for a moment. He knew that there was a reason he was avoiding this conversation. He just wasn't aware of how much he still wasn't ready for it. "And what if Tim refuses?"

"Do you honestly think that he will? I mean, come on, Dick, would you really want to be stuck as a vegetable?"

Dick glares at that. He doesn't care that it could be considered true. Hearing his little brother referred to in such a manner still angers him. "He's not a vegetable! He's just..."

"Yeah, whatever, you know what I mean." Jason waves his hand as if to dismiss Dick's protests. "The point is, if we present a united front on this, and assure him that we'll stick with him through the residual crazy period, I'm confident that he'll go for it."

Dick shakes his head at him. It's odd hearing Jason talk as though he's fully thought this out, but then again, Dick guesses he probably has. After all, it's not as though Dick himself hasn't been thinking about this somewhere in the back of his mind. "This isn't a business proposition, you know, and besides..."

"Besides what, Dickie-bird? It's not like we have a whole hell of a lot of options here."

Dick glares at him again. It didn't take him long to remember how often Jason likes to interrupt people, but it still aggravates him. "I was just going to ask how the hell you think we're going to get Tim to a Lazarus Pit. What? Do you intend to just call up Ras and ask politely to let us borrow one of his pits for a bit?"

"It's not a problem, so don't worry about it."

Dick raises an eyebrow at that. "Not a problem? What the hell do you mean not a problem?"

Jason leans back in his chair again. "Look, I've got it covered. That's all you need to know."

Dick just stares at him for a moment disbelievingly. None of this sounds good to Dick, and he can feel the familiar apprehension that creeps up whenever Jason is involved in something. "You've got it covered? Did I miss something? Do you just happen to have a Lazarus Pit in the basement of your old apartment complex that you didn't feel like mentioning?"

Jason is looking everywhere except for Dick's eyes, which is giving Dick an even deeper sinking feeling about all of this. "Jason, what did you do?"

Jason shrugs nonchalantly. "I still have some pretty decent contacts, that's all."

Dick still doesn't believe a word of it, but he knows when a fight with Jason will yield nothing. "Right, that's all. What's really going on here, Jason?"

"Nothing. I've got a way to make baby bird better-provided that we can convince him to go along with it, of course-and you're treating me like a common criminal...again. So, why don't you just lighten up a bit, Dick?"

Dick gives him a once over before deciding that it's probably better if he doesn't know all of the details anyway. After all, the last thing he wants to do right now is alienate one of the only two people he has left, so Dick nods his agreement. "Alright, fine. Once Tim wakes up, we'll go have a chat with him and see how he feels about all of this, but I can almost guarantee you that he isn't going to go along with any plan when he doesn't know all of the details."

Jason sighs again. "Yeah, well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

Dick just stares at his brother for a moment, and hopes to whatever or whoever is listening that this doesn't end with him losing the only people he has left.

The End (for now)


	3. Chapter 3

They stare at each other over Tim's bed, not really sure what to say. They promised each other when they realized that Tim was awake and aware that they wouldn't go down this path. Now? Now, it seems that they don't have a choice. It doesn't matter that he's the one who brought this up, or that he planned out how he was going to convince Dick to go along with this plan long before they both got fed up with the specialists. Jason isn't nearly as comfortable with this whole idea as he's been pretending, but, like he told Dick, it's not like they have a whole hell of a lot of options.

"You know we won't do anything that you're uncomfortable with, but you need to know that we're basically out of options." Jason knows that Dick would have put it more delicately, but time is of the essence, and the last thing Tim needs right now is more kid gloves. "So, Tim what's it going to be?"

Dick leans over and squeezes Tim's hand. "We'll both be there with you every step of the way, and we wouldn't even be thinking about this if we didn't intend to take every precaution."

Tim is still for a long moment...his heartbeat steady as he listens to their plan. Jason doesn't know if he'll go for it. He knows that Tim has always been the smart logical one, but that doesn't mean that he'll just consent to being dumped into a Lazarus Pit-not unless they've exhausted all other options first-which, in Jason's opinion, they have. He's fairly certain that Tim knows neither of them is exactly happy with this prospect, but he has to know that it's the best option that they've got. Hell, it's the only option that they've got.

Slowly Tim raises his heartbeat to signal his consent. It didn't take them long to work out a code, and Jason isn't surprised to hear Dick gasp in relief at the same time that he does. Although, Jason doesn't know if he's relieved because Tim is willing to do this or because the easiest part of this whole plan just went off without a hitch. The truth is, Jason doesn't really want to know either. He watches silently as Dick places his hand on Tim's shoulder. "Everything's going to be okay, little brother. We're going to make sure of it." Dick glances at Jason, obviously looking for reassurance.

Jason nods once adamantly. "Yeah, of course. I'll just go call my contact and let her know that we're all on board." Jason is out of the door before Dick can ask anymore questions. He's not looking forward to the next part of this ordeal at all, but he promised that he would do anything to help Tim after what happened, and he meant it.

Dick tightens his grip on Tim's shoulder for a second before releasing him. "I'll be right back, Timmy. Just relax while I'm gone." Dick races after Jason the moment he's sure that Tim is okay with him leaving.

When Dick finally catches up to Jason he grabs a hold of Jason's arm, and forces him to turn around and face him. "And just who is this contact of yours, Jason? And how the hell does this person have access to a Lazarus Pit?"

Jason sighs to himself as he pulls his arm out of Dick's grasp. It's the question he's been avoiding since he brought up the idea of using the Lazarus Pit to help Tim. "Trust me, Dickie-bird, you don't want to know."

Dick fold his arms over his chest, looking as imposing as possible. "No, Jason, I really think that I do want to know."

Jason balls one of his hands into a fist and releases it. "Dick, I'm telling you, it's better for everyone involved if you don't know."

Dick glares at that. "Oh really? Do you honestly expect me to believe that? Because I highly doubt it's better for me, or Tim for that matter, not to know who we're dealing with."

Jason doesn't even have the energy to fight right now. It's been a long and exhausting time for all of them, and he's been spending his nights working around Dick, which hasn't left much time for sleep. Jason sighs as he hangs his head. He knows that Dick isn't going to like this one bit, and may even hit him once Jason tells him who he's been working with, but Jason thinks that it really should be obvious at this point. "It's Talia, okay?" 

Dick stares at him wide-eyed for a moment not speaking. "I'm sorry; did you just say Talia? As in Talia al Ghul?"

Jason wants to massage his temples, but just continues tightening his hands into fists and releasing them. "Do you know of any other?"

Dick looks flabbergasted for a long moment before he erupts into a fit of rage. "How on earth could you be working with her? Are you insane? We can't trust Tim's life and safety to that evil, conniving, snake."

Jason shakes his head at that. "Look, I know what she is, and I know that you don't like her, but the fact is, if we want to get Tim to a Lazarus Pit we need her help. Besides, she owes me a favor."

Dick's mouth doesn't drop, but it sure as hell looks like it wants to. "Why the hell would Talia al Ghul owe you a favor, Jason? What did you do for her?" Dick's eyes narrow in a way that Jason hasn't seen for quite some time, and doesn't really miss.

"It's a long story, and an irrelevant one at that. All you need to know is that I helped her out with something a while back, and now she's willing to help us with Tim. So, are we going to stand here talking all day or are you going to let me go do what I need to do?"

Jason could tell that Dick still wasn't okay with any of this, and the truth was, neither was he. In fact, Jason was hoping that he would never have to see Talia al Ghul again after their last meeting, but he knew better than to hope for such. Reluctantly, Dick moves out of Jason's way, but as Jason passes him, Dick grabs his arm once again. "If anything happens to Tim it's on your hands, Jason...just remember that."

Before Jason can respond, Dick releases him and walks away. He wants to tell Dick that he knows, and that he's okay with it. He wouldn't be doing this if he wasn't already prepared for everything to fall apart. After all, things rarely work out in his favor. Jason sighs to himself as heads in the direction of the cave. He has a phone call to make.

The End (for now)


	4. Chapter 4

For the first time ever, Tim is actually happy that he can't move and can't breathe on his own. He doesn't want the other two to know how much he absolutely hates this plan, and how angry he is that they're left with this option. He may not remember everything, but Tim feels certain that there isn't a scenario in the world that would make him okay with this choice. At least, from what they've explained to him, this doesn't sound like a good thing. However, he's already resigned himself to the fact that he has to do this, and not just for himself.

He can tell what his condition is doing to the other two, and Tim doesn't like it. They're exhausted and it's weighing heavily on both of their emotional states. Tim is grateful that, in addition to whatever else they do in their day, both of them have made a great effort to make sure that at least one of them is with him every second that he's awake-which is why Tim often lowers his heartbeat to his resting rate and makes them think that he's sleeping when he's not. It's the least that he can do, given everything they've already done and everything that they're about to do for him.

He knows that they are both leaving a huge piece out of this plan, but he doesn't want to be more of a burden to them than he already is. There's no reason for him to make things harder on them just because they don't feel comfortable with telling him everything. He's sure that they have their reasons. Tim wishes that he could remember everything from before...including what happened to him, because then, maybe he could understand why he's been left in this state. He doesn't like not knowing. Dick comes back into the room after being gone for some time. Tim can't tell how long, but he's happy that at least he can tell who's in the room with him from their footsteps. Jason's are heavier and always seem to be dragging a little. Dick's are lighter, and he doesn't shuffle his feet as much as Jason does.

He comes over and places his hand on Tim's shoulder, and not for the first time, Tim wishes that he could smile or say thank you. "Hey, Timmy. I'm back. I didn't mean to leave you alone so long, but I had to get a few things straightened out with Jason. I mean, you know how he is."

Tim drops his heartbeat down to signal no, and he notices Dick tightening his grip slightly. "Man, I wish I could ask you to explain what you mean, little brother. I've never been very good at interpreting you, and now...well, it's not easy. Does that mean you don't remember much from before?"

Tim raises his heartbeat to signal yes. Dick sighs. "Oh, I...I didn't even think that you wouldn't...oh man...how the hell am I supposed to ask you what you remember?"

Tim wants to tell him to just start talking...to tell him everything, even if it hurts, even if it's bad, because this-not knowing-is so much worse. They haven't really worked out anything beyond yes and no, however, so Tim has no idea how he's supposed to make himself clear. Suddenly, Dick's hand leaves his shoulder, but before Tim can panic, there's the sound of something being moved on carpet, and then Dick's hand is on his wrist. It takes Tim a second to realize that Dick was just sitting down.

"I guess I could just start asking questions."

Tim raises his heart beat again. He wants to scream 'yes' over and over again, but that's the best that he can do.

"Okay, I think I should start with the basics. Before we started using your name all of the time, did you know what it was...did you remember it?"

Tim lowers his heart rate, and Dick sighs. "God, I'm sorry, little brother. Timmy...I call you Timmy. You don't really like it, but you let me, because I'm needy."

Tim wants to laugh. He doesn't think that he hates the name Timmy, but he can't really say that he would want everyone to call him that. He hopes that Dick knows that...knows that he doesn't just let him call him that because he's needy, but because he likes it when Dick does.

"Okay, um, I'm going to assume that you don't remember being Robin, then, right?"

Tim lowers his heart rate again, and then raises it. He wishes that he could shrug and say, 'sort of', because he does a little. At least, he thinks that he does. The name seems familiar and important the way nothing else really does. He dreams of birds with red breasts and bats and he knows these things are connected. He just doesn't know how yet.

Dick apparently is aware that's he's been trying to convey something, because he taps Tim's wrist with his fingers a few times, as though to get his attention. "Okay, I'm going to take that response as a maybe or somewhat." Dick heaves a large sigh, as though he's preparing himself for something, and then wraps his hand around Tim's wrist again. "Tim, do you know what a Lazarus Pit is?"

He wants to say it's something bad, because so far, that's the impression that he's been getting from them, but the only thing that he can do is lower and raise his heart beat again. "Okay, I'm guessing that's another sort of, right?"

Tim raises his heart rate again. "All right, well, I'll have Jason explain it to you in a little more detail then. After all, this is his plan and he knows more about Lazarus Pits than I do."

Tim can tell by Dick's tone that that was some kind of joke, and he wishes that he could understand it. He's sure that it's probably funny...or maybe not. Sometimes Dick makes jokes that Tim can understand, but they make him want to groan instead of laugh. He's not sure if that's normal or not, but it seems to be normal for Dick, since sometimes he does it in front of Jason, who does groan.

Dick slides his hand down into Tim's and squeezes a few times before he asks his next question. "Tim, do you remember Bruce?"

Tim doesn't know how to answer that one. He remembers the name. He dreams about someone named Bruce sometimes, and he knows this person is connected to all of his other significant dreams, but he doesn't really remember things about this person. He raises and then lowers his heart rate once again to signal kind of.

Dick's grip on his hand strengths again for a moment. "Okay, so you sort of remember him. That's okay. Hopefully once Jason finishes finalizing his plan, and we get you better, then your memory will come back, too." The word plan comes out harsh and bitter. Tim gets the impression that Dick's not happy, and not just with the plan itself, but with Jason.

"Anyway, do you remember Alfred?"

The moment Tim hears the name an image of an older man in perfectly pressed suit comes to mind. He remembers cookies, and biscuits, and all kinds of delicious food, and the best coffee ever. He also remembers long discussions about all different matters, and always feeling better after talking to the old man. Tim raises his heart beat again, because he can't ever imagine forgetting Alfred.

Dick laughs and gives him a hug. "No one can forget Alfie, right, Tim?"

Tim feels better than he has in a long time, and he wishes that he could tell Dick that, but all he can do is enjoy the warmth of the embrace for as long as it lasts. He reminds himself of all of the things he has to say to Dick and Jason once he's better, and, not for the first time, he wishes that he could write it all down.

The End (for now)


	5. Chapter 5

Dick waits until he's sure that Tim is asleep before he goes to track down Jason. He feels like an idiot for not even considering that Tim's memory might be affected. It makes sense after everything that The Joker did to him. Dick sighs to himself. This is clearly just one more example of how he's failed Tim, and Dick doesn't have any idea how he's going to make any of this up to him. He knows that healing Tim isn't nearly a good enough start...not when he could have managed this years ago.

Dick is still berating himself when he walks into the cave to see Jason sitting with his head in his hands. He looks dejected and lost, which makes Dick worry. If Talia refuses to help, then they truly are out of options. Dick has no idea how he's going to break that news to Tim, but he knows that it's on him to do so. He can't force Jason to have that conversation. After all, Jason isn't the one who failed to save Tim, nor did he neglect to realize that Tim's memory was impaired. Hell, Jason was the one to figure out that Tim was aware of his surroundings in the first place, which pretty much makes him the better brother in Dick's eyes.

Dick walks over, and places his hand on Jason's shoulder. He ignores the way that Jason jumps at the touch. Obviously, it's not just his youngest brother who he's failed. "What's going on?"

Jason shakes his head as if to clear it. "Nothing, we're good to go."

Dick's eyes widen in shock. "What? What do you mean we're good to go?"

Jason shrugs. "I just got confirmation that as soon as we're ready to move him, our ride and escort will be here."

Dick raises an eyebrow at that. It sounds as if everything is actually going according to plan, but that makes absolutely no sense...not if Jason's demeanor when he first entered the cave is anything to go by. "Then why the kicked puppy expression?"

Jason heaves a large sigh, and looks as though he bracing himself for something awful. "It's...Talia is...well, Talia. I'm just..." Jason abruptly stands and starts walking toward the stairs. "Look, the sooner we get this over and done with the better."

Dick nods and follows Jason to the stairs. "Just so you know, Tim's memory isn't what it used to be."

Jason halts halfway up the stairs. "What do you mean?"

Dick casts a glance down at the floor before meeting Jason's eyes again. "He...he doesn't remember being Robin. Hell, he doesn't even remember Bruce. I'm not sure how much he actually remembers us, versus what he's learning from us every day."

Jason turns to glare at him. "Fuck, why are you telling me this now?"

Dick sighs and shrugs. "I don't know. I just thought that it might be good for you to know. I mean, we're about to shove him into a Lazarus Pit, and he doesn't even really remember what one is. I just thought that maybe you could...I don't know...talk him through it a bit.

Jason nods. "Yeah, okay...fine...I...we should go."

The two of them head off into the direction of Tim's room. Dick's not really sure why Jason seems so rattled. True, a conversation with Talia al Ghul is enough to put anyone on edge, but Dick figured that Jason would be prepared for that. After all, this is all Jason's plan, so it's a little disconcerting that Jason seems as apprehensive about this as Dick is. They walk silently into Tim's room, and Jason gently places his hand on Tim's wrist. Dick didn't know that Jason could do anything gently until that day in the hospital. Jason leans down to tell Tim what's going on, and Dick can't help but notice the nervousness in Jason's voice. This can't end well. "Okay, baby bird, we're going to remove you from the machines, and place you on a gurney. I know that that's going to suck for you, and it's probably going to be frightening, but Dick and I will be right beside you. We are going to have to bag you for this, which I know you hate, but this isn't our first time doing this, and it's only until we can get the portable respirator set up, so..." Jason glances back to Dick for some help here.

Dick doesn't know what he's supposed to do. He wasn't ready for this so soon, and he isn't nearly as confident as he needs to be to reassure Tim. Still, Dick does his best...just as he always has. "It's going to be okay, Timmy."

The two of them work diligently to prep Tim. Dick doesn't know all of the details of this plan, and, quite frankly, he's pretty sure that he doesn't want to, but he figures that he knows enough. They get him out onto the lawn at the exact moment that a nondescript black helicopter lands. Dick glances over at Jason, who is gritting his teeth and clenching both of his hands into fists. When the helicopter blades stop spinning, Dick's more than a little surprised to see Talia step out. He had fully expected one of her many minions instead.

She saunters over to them, looking regal as always. "Boys," she glances at them both, "to tell the truth, I expected to be contacted much sooner."

Dick glares at her. He still wishes that they didn't have to deal with her at all. "Talia, nice 'copter-just as cliche as always."

Talia's eyes narrow at that. "Now, now, Richard. Is that anyway to speak to someone who's here to help you?"

Dick's glare only intensifies. "Yeah, we'll see about that."

Talia ignores him, and instead focuses on Jason, who, surprisingly, hasn't said anything as of yet. Her facial expression softens when she turns to him, which only concerns Dick more. "How have you been, Jason?" She speaks softly...almost tenderly to him, and that makes Dick want to run in the other direction. He doesn't know what kind of a past these two have, but seeing the way her words put Jason even more on edge definitely makes Dick wonder.

"Fine, can we get this over with?" Jason brushes past her, and Dick's eyes widen slightly when Talia actually allows him to.

Dick doesn't say anything as they load Tim into the helicopter, but he's sure that Jason has picked up on all of the questions that Dick hasn't verbalized yet. He's dying to ask what the hell is really going on, but he knows better than to allow Talia to see how fragile their relationship really is. After all, Dick has dealt with her enough in the past to know that she will attack any perceived weakness.

Dick has one hand wrapped around Tim's, trying to give him at least a little comfort in the silence. The flight is quiet for at least an hour before Talia turns to Jason. "I have missed you, Jason." She keeps staring at him with an expression so full of regret and pain that Dick is starting to feel uncomfortable...well, more uncomfortable.

Jason, for his part, seems unfazed. He appears just as angry and annoyed as he always is, except Dick knows that that's not right. Jason has been working to temper his rage ever since he realized that Tim really doesn't like it when they fight. Dick knows that Jason still blames himself for what happened to Tim, even if that's ridiculous, since it's clearly Dick's fault for not getting there in time save either of his little brothers. Jason glances at Dick before turning to face Talia. "Yeah, well, that's nice. I haven't missed you at all."

Talia sighs as she brushes a lock of hair behind her ear. "You were always so angry, but that never seemed to impede your ability to..."

"Don't." Jason's growl is low and feral, and it makes Dick clutch Tim's hand a little tighter just to reassure him that they are all okay.

Talia laughs mockingly. "I take it your brothers don't know what you've done for me..what favor I owe you. Do they not know that you are the one who finally put my father to rest for good."

Jason looks as though he's about to rip her throat out, and Dick doesn't know what to do. He knows, from both Talia's smug expression as well as Jason's reaction, that she's telling the truth. He just can't find it within himself to care. He moves over to wrap one arm around Jason, while keeping a hand on Tim's leg. "It's okay. Whatever you've done, it doesn't matter now."

Jason stares at him, shocked at Dick's response. Clearly, Jason was expecting Dick to cast him out once again, but Dick can't. It's only the three of them now, and he won't give that up for something that happened so many years ago. After all, the news of Ra's al Ghul's final death was almost welcome, occurring so shortly after Tim's 'accident'. Honestly, Dick isn't even all that surprised to learn that Jason had something to do with it; and if that makes him a bad person, so be it. His brothers are all that he has left, and Dick's not going to give either one of them up without a fight.

The End (for now)


	6. Chapter 6

Jason just wants out of this damn helicopter and now. He doesn't care that Dick doesn't seem upset with his involvement in Ra's death. He still doesn't want to spend anymore time around Talia and her minions than necessary, and this flight has lasted for far too many hours for Jason's liking. Especially since, the moment that they were out of Gotham airspace, two more helicopters began accompanying them. He really hates Talia's ability to make him feel surrounded, and he likes it even less when he's a couple thousand feet in the air.

Jason glances over to where Dick has his hand wrapped around Tim's. He still feels rather guilty that he never really did get a chance to tell Tim more about all of this. He knows that the poor guy has to be freaking out right now. After all, he knows that Tim is probably picking up on how tense Dick is, not to mention how much anger Jason is currently dealing with. He wants to shove it all down for Tim, and try to pretend as though he isn't two seconds away from attempting to knock out all of Talia's teeth, but the woman's very presence puts him on edge to the point where pretending his fury isn't there isn't an option.

Instead, Jason glares out the window and tries to count down the minutes until they land. He doesn't know the exact location of where they're heading, but he knows enough about flight patterns, helicopter fuel tanks, and Talia to know that they're close. Clearly, though, not close enough as he hears an explosion go off somewhere behind him and watches as one of the accompanying helicopters goes down. Jason knew better than to expect things to go smoothly, but he's not sure how he's supposed to deal with this. He turns to glare at Talia. "What the hell was that?"

Talia ignores him as she leans over her pilot to grab a headset. She's talking furiously in some language Jason doesn't recognize. He glances over to see Dick trying to calm Tim, but really, what the hell is he supposed to say to make this situation seem better? Jason busies himself with making sure all of Tim's machines are still working properly, while Talia continues what sounds like an extremely vicious verbal assault on whoever is on the other line. She suddenly throws off the headset and spins around to face them. "It seems we have some unwanted company. Jason, you'll find some useful items under your seat. Richard, I suggest you start prepping Timothy for a jump."

The sound of guns and explosions surrounds them, so Jason doesn't hesitate to reach under his seat to find a case with a bazooka in it, and well...he can certainly work with that. Dick, on the other hand, tries to tell Tim that it's going to be alright while he attempts to find the best place for the portable respirator. Jason sighs as he moves toward the helicopter door and positions the bazooka on his shoulder. "That's not going to work."

Dick looks about two seconds away from a complete meltdown, and really Jason doesn't have the time or energy to deal with that right now. So, he steadies the bazooka, and aims at the helicopter trying to shoot them down. "What the hell do you want me to do?" Dick's frustration is unmistakable.

Talia stares at them both, disgust evident in her eyes as she moves off toward more weapons. "Disconnect it."

Dick's eyes widen at that. "He'll die!"

Talia rolls her eyes as she assembles her AK-47. "And the Lazarus Pit will remedy that."

Dick side-eyes her, before turning his attention to Jason, who really doesn't like that particular expression, because he knows what Dick is about to ask him, and Jason doesn't have an answer for him. "What am I supposed to do?"

Jason doesn't have a single clue. All he knows is that they better make a decision and soon, because there's no way that this 'copter is going to be able to take too many more hits, and they're already losing altitude. Jason switches the bazooka for another AK-47, and starts firing. He's bought himself a couple of seconds, but Jason knows what needs to be done; so he closes his eyes, and nods once to Dick. He promises that he'll make this up to Tim...no matter what. "Do it."

Dick leans down and hugs Tim as hard as he can while he whispers to him. "I'm sorry, Timmy. It's going to be okay. I swear it's going to be okay. We're going to bring you back. It's going to be okay." Dick is sobbing as he moves to disconnect the machines from Tim, and Jason can't help but feel his own eyes prickle with tears. This isn't how this was supposed to go. Tim was never supposed to stop breathing, and as Jason shuts his eyes more tightly against the sounds of Tim trying to breath on his own and failing, he promises himself that they will all get through this. He just doesn't know how yet.

Jason knows that Tim has to be hurting, and that he has to be so fucking scared right now. He doesn't even know if Tim knows how they're going to bring him back...if he remembers or understands how the Lazarus Pit works, and he's so fucking sorry he never got the chance to tell him. He doesn't want Tim to have to relive this moment...this final one, because that's the worst part of the Lazarus Pit. It makes you relive every little excruciating detail of how you died, and now Tim is going to have to go through this twice. Jason tries to block out the sound of Tim dying, probably thinking that the only people he knows-the only members of his family he knows-are betraying him right now. Jason can't tell him that it isn't like that, because he's too busy trying to keep his own airway from closing up.

Talia sneers at both of them, and gestures for them to get their parachutes on. "He'll be fine once we get him to the pit. This helicopter is going down. I suggest we leave."

Dick's still sobbing as he cradles Tim's limp form to his chest, and Jason has to practically shove Dick's arms through the arm straps of his parachute, prying each hand off of Tim one at a time as they get ready to jump out of the rapidly descending helicopter. Jason doesn't know if he should trust Dick to navigate down to land on his own right now, but it's not as though he has any other options. So, he grabs a hold of Dick's shoulder, gripping tightly, and leads him toward the door. "We will get through this."

Dick doesn't look convinced, but as he glances down at Tim's head, Jason can see the small flash of resilience pass over his face. Jason wouldn't normally let that stand. Usually, he would poke and prod until he saw that Dick was ready to take on the world, but right now that small bit of conviction is going to have to be enough, because they don't have time for more.

Dick and Jason wait for Talia to jump, and then they both follow suit. Jason makes Dick go first, that way he can keep an eye on him. He still doesn't know where the hell they are or who the hell is attacking them, but he figures he has more important things to worry about, such as not getting snagged in a tree or shot out of the sky. Jason lands without incident, which he guesses is something, at least. Dick is only a few yards away from him, untangling himself from his parachute. Once they both discard their 'chutes, Jason turns to find Talia, and doesn't see her anywhere. He knows that he saw her evading some pretty heavy fire, and he's really hoping she didn't get shot down. After all, she's the only one who knows where the hell they are and where the hell they're going.

Jason's searching around frantically looking for any sign of Talia, and he's about two seconds away from screaming her name when he hears some rustling in a tree somewhere towards his left. He takes off in that direction, only to find Talia's 'chute completely tangled in a tree. He can't even see her, but he can hear some pretty feral sounding Arabic cussing. He's just about to start climbing the tree to help her out when he sees a large blade slicing through the parachute. The blade disappears before cutting through a completely different portion of the 'chute, and then suddenly Talia is flipping out of a hole that she made, and landing right in front of him.

She brushes her hair out of her face, and then heads off in the opposite direction towards Dick. "We've got quite a far walk ahead of us, thanks to my father's idiotic minions."

Jason nearly stumbles at that piece of information, and has to almost physically stop himself from punching Talia in the face. "What the hell are you talking about? I thought Ra's was dead."

Talia huff's out a breath and continues walking straight past Dick. "He is. Unfortunately, my father still has a quite a few abhorrently bothersome followers who detest my commands."

Jason glares at her back and growls. "Great, so we're in the middle of your little power struggle. How nice of you to tell us that before we got into this? Oh, wait, you didn't, and now Tim's dead."

Talia waves her hand, as if to dismiss his anger. "Timothy will be fine."

Jason really wants to hit her, but there's no way of knowing how many weapons she has on her, and he knows that he has to keep his temper under control-at least until they get Tim to the pit. That, however, doesn't mean that he can't yell, and Jason likes yelling...a lot. "He will not be okay. The pit does not magically make everything better. Hell, half the time, I'm sure it just fucks everything up. He's going to be hurt and crazy, and dear fucking god I don't even know if we should be doing this." Jason honestly hadn't meant to say all of that, but there's nothing that he can do about it now.

He slowly turns to face Dick, knowing that whatever he's about to see in the other man's eyes is just going to infuriate and hurt him more, but such is just Jason's luck. He has accepted that. Dick isn't even looking at Jason. He's just staring down at Tim's unmoving body, his expression tired and lost. He's clutching onto his dead little brother as though it's the only lifeline that Dick has left, and Jason can't do a thing about it. The only thing that he's capable of right now is putting one foot in front of the other and continue moving, because that's the only way any of this is going to get any better. "Come on, Talia said we've got a long way to go."

He's honestly not even sure if Dick is still following him, but it doesn't really matter. They're here now, and they have no other choice. Jason knows that beyond a doubt, so he just keeps following Talia. They have to get Tim to the pit no matter what. They owe it to him...Jason owes it to him...that and so much more.

The End (for now)


	7. Chapter 7

He awakes, choking and drowning. The putrid liquid is filling his nose and mouth, and all he can see is green. He doesn't even know where he is or how he got here, but he knows that this isn't good. He has to get out...has to get away from the chartreuse-colored fluid that is slowly invading what feels like his entire being. It smells like death and decay, and no matter how hard he tries, he can't seem to expel all of it from his lungs. He's fighting to get to the surface, but it feels as though the more he thrashes, the further he sinks into the murky green pool. He needs to escape...he knows that he needs to escape, but he can't seem to find any purchase.

There are flashes of memories he barely understands, and pain is lancing it's way through his entire body. He tries to scream, but instead of an outlet for his rage, sorrow, and agony, there is only a gurgling sound as more of the foul water surges into his mouth. He feels himself sinking lower into this pit, and he remembers.

It starts with an embrace-short, but firm, warm and happy, if only for a moment. It's the best that he's ever felt, but the moment of contentment quickly shifts into grief and pain as he watches two people he's only just met, but realizes are better than any he's ever known, fall. Their bodies lie on the ground, twisted and broken, and it feels as though the world has lost something truly precious. There's sorrow for a long time, which slowly moves into loneliness. He remembers feeling so isolated...so abandoned as he watches the retreating forms of his own parents, leaving on another business trip-but there's a spark of hope and joy, for he'll be able to move freely to watch-he's always watching...has spent his entire life watching-his two favorite heroes.

There are snapshots that mean more than anything in the world, and cold nights filled with disappointment at missing the most important people he'll ever know. There's the awe and excitement of learning the greatest secret that he'll ever discover, and then the dread of realizing that there's another standing beside Batman. It takes time to warm to the idea of a new Robin, but he's just as excited to see this one as the first. That changes, though, and again he's left with nothing but anguish and mourning. It doesn't last long, however, before it's replaced by the fear that his hero will never recover.

His memories shift into long days and even longer nights. Training that feels as though it will never end, and the constant worry of never being good enough and perpetually failing, but that eases slowly as he gains confidence. For the first time in his life, he means something to the people around him, and it's a feeling that he's not used to, but never wishes to give up. The first night that he stands on a rooftop dressed in his own Robin suit, he feels apprehension, but mostly pride and joy. He doesn't believe that his life will ever be better than this moment, and, to a certain extent, he's right.

There's more pain, more sorrow, and more death as he begins losing the people he holds dear, but he still has his adopted family to help him through it. He has a brother who loves him, a father figure who, despite his emotional distance, tries his best, and a grandfather figure who always seems to know what to say. And then one of his idols tries to kill him, but Tim understands it. Jason believes he was replaced. He's wrong, and Tim has the conviction to prove that to him, but before he gets a chance, everything changes.

There's a man standing over him-a man with a grotesque smile that stretches unnaturally across his face. He's laughing manically, and the sound makes Tim shiver. He knows that The Joker is most likely going to kill him. The man has already shot out both of his knees, and the beating he's taken has left him with little strength. His vision is blurring, and he's going to pass out from blood loss soon, but before he can, there's glass raining down upon him, and then Jason is standing in front of him screaming about how he refuses to let another Robin die. The Joker has a gun, but so does Jason. There are two shots fired, and Tim can feel the insurmountable pain as a bullet tears through Tim's brain. He registers Joker's lifeless body hitting the ground before everything goes dark.

There are endless days of lying in a hospital bed with people visiting at what seems like random intervals, but as the years pass the visitors become fewer and fewer until there is only one. It seems hopeless, and there are times when Tim honestly wishes for an end, but he keeps trying to communicate, and just when he feels as though it might be time to give up completely, something glorious happens. In addition to having a new visitor, he gains the ability to communicate. It's not much, but it's something, and Tim honestly doesn't remember feeling so relieved.

And then there is fear...the most intense and greatest bone-chilling fear that he has ever felt. He can't move, and he's sure that if he could he'd be shaking. They're going to kill him. His family-the only people he knows-is going to kill him, and there's nothing that he can do. He can't even scream. The man who, it seems has always, called himself his brother is hugging him and promising him that it will all be okay; but how on earth can it be alright when they are killing him? He can hear the screeching sound of each machine slowly being disconnected and then shut down. He's going to die, and he can't even scream his fury at them for betraying him like this.

He desperately tries to force air into his lungs, but he can't, and it hurts so damn bad. His lungs are burning from the lack of oxygen, and he knows that it would hurt less if he would just stop fighting, but he can't. It can't end this way. He won't allow it to-but he doesn't have a choice. All he can do is wonder why. Why they would do this to him after everything, and he knows that he'll never get an answer, because there's no way for him to voice his only question. He loved them. He knows that he loved them, which is why he can't figure out why they would do this to him now. He can feel himself fading, but he wants to continue fighting. Finally, after the longest struggle that he ever remembers, he slips into darkness and there is nothing.

He gasps as he finally breaks the surface. There are hands on him, pulling him free from the repugnant liquid and dragging him on to dry land. He's thrashing in their grasp, trying desperately to get away. He's clawing and kicking, but the hands are refusing to relinquish their hold on him. He can't figure out why they don't understand that he needs to get away. There's someone shushing him, and attempting to comfort him...trying to tell him that it's all going to be okay, and it's that same voice from before. He screams as loudly as he possibly can. He has to escape. He won't believe that voice. He won't listen to their lies. He knows that they are going to kill him again, but this time is different...this time he can fight. He won't let them hurt him...won't let them kill him...not again.

He breaks free from the hands and takes off running. He needs to find a way out, but there are too many people standing in his way. He fights just as he was taught...not by Batman...by Bruce, but the way that Shiva taught him, because right now that's the only thing that's going to save him. There are ninja everywhere, but he uses everything he knows to his advantage, and then he sees it...the mouth of the cavern, and he knows that he's found his way out.

He runs as fast as he can, and he's almost outside when he's suddenly slammed into from behind. There's someone holding him, but he continues struggling. "Baby bird, Tim, it's us. It's okay. We're here. We're going to help you."

It's Jason. Jason who attacked him at Titan's Tower. Jason who saved him from The Joker. Jason who sat beside his bed and read books to him. Jason who condemned him to death. Tim doesn't realize he's stopped fighting until he feels Jason's arms wrap even more tightly around him, and he can't...he can't go back to those liars. He has to get away. He throws a punch and shoves Jason into a wall. He has to keep running. He makes it outside and is immediately blinded by the sun. It doesn't stop him. He ducks into the thick copse of trees and continues moving. He has to get away from the people who hurt him...the ones who killed him. He refuses to die again.

The End (for now)


	8. Chapter 8

Dick doesn't know what to do. He's always known that the Lazarus Pit has adverse effects, but knowing that could never have prepared him for what happened with Tim. He still can't get the boy's screams out of his head. He replays them constantly, knowing he can never atone for any of this. The sight of his brother thrashing in his arms while screaming himself hoarse with accusations of betrayal and murder will always be one of Dick's worst nightmares. He can't close his eyes for a single second without seeing it all over again, and wishing it had never happened in the first place.

They've been looking for Tim for over a week with absolutely no success. Talia is even helping them. Dick doesn't have a single clue as to why, but, if the way that she keeps glancing at Jason whenever they're in the same room is any indication, it certainly has something to do with it, and Dick's sure that no good can come from this. He knows there's something more to Jason's and Talia's past, but Dick honestly isn't sure if he wants to know what, exactly. The only thing that he's certain of right now is that he wants to find his little brother, no matter how hopeless that search may seem to be right now.

He hears the sound of a key scraping the lock just before Jason shuffles into the motel room they're staying in, and flops onto the bed next to Dick. This place is old and run down, made obvious by the fact that they still use real metal keys, as opposed to the electronic keys that Dick is used to. The room is little more than four walls and two beds, but it serves their purpose. After all, they mostly use it as a place to crash in between bouts of trying to track down Tim. "I swear, if that woman is secretly hiding Tim somewhere, I will rip her damn throat out."

Dick's gotten used to the threat by now, but the imagery doesn't help his mood any. Jason hasn't felt the need to curb his anger or his swearing since Tim's been missing, and it's only gotten worse with time. "How'd your meeting with Talia go?"

Jason shrugs, face buried into a pillow so that Dick has to struggle to make out the words. "Y'know, same as always. Had to restrain myself from putting a knife through her hand when she touched me, and she hasn't heard anything, and none of her sources - which we all know are just her fucking ninja, so she could just fucking say that - have found any trace of him."

Dick isn't sure why he bothered to ask. It's always the same. Along with Tim's memory, all of his training returned, and, thanks to the pit, he's regained all of his former strength. That was evident when he was struggling out of Dick's arms before he ran away. It's apparent that he doesn't want to be found, and Dick can't blame him. They should have thought this through more…they should have been better prepared…they…they probably shouldn't have brought him back at all. Dick knows it was selfish…knows that, had he been thinking clearly, he would have refused, but he wasn't, and now they're here. There is no doubt in his mind that this is fault and all because he couldn't let his little brother go…not again.

Jason suddenly kicks him sharply in the leg. "I can hear you brooding all the way over here. Stop it. We're going to find him."

Dick shakes his head before dropping his head into his hands. "He doesn't want to be found, and why should he? We killed him. I…I killed him. I killed my little brother."

Jason immediately gets to his knees and punches Dick as hard as he can, causing Dick's arm to go numb. "We didn't have a choice, okay? We…we did what we had to, and if he wasn't full of pit rage he'd see that. I promise we will find him, we will bring him home, and we will find some way to deal with all of this."

Dick nods and tries to focus on finding Tim. It's really all he has right now. "So, if you're a Bat trained vigilante, dealing with the aftereffects of the Lazarus Pit, and you think your family has betrayed you, where do you go?" Dick suddenly turns to face Jason. "Where did you go?" It's probably the worst question to ask, and Dick almost wants to tell Jason that he doesn't have to answer, but Jason is the closest thing they have to a lead. Tim's tracks led into the trees before vanishing, and while it was evident that he had climbed the trees to keep from leaving more soggy footprints, he did a damn good job of disappearing.

Jason shifts, looking extremely uncomfortable with the subject. "It was an entirely different scenario, Dick. I had spent quite a bit of time not even knowing my own name before I was dumped into the pit, and when I came out of it, I was lost and confused. Talia was there, and, unlike Tim, I didn't run away, because all I wanted was for someone to make things make sense again."

Dick nods once again, trying to keep from reacting the way he wants to at Jason's story…trying to stop himself from reaching out and gathering Jason into a hug. He knows that isn't what Jason needs…not now. "Okay, so what if it's not actually all that different?"

Jason's eyes narrow out of confusion. "What do you mean?"

"What if that's what Tim is looking for, too…some way to make it all make sense again? He's not the type of person to run towards people when he's distressed. In fact, he does the opposite. He runs away, so what if that's what he's doing now?"

Jason shrugs in an indulgent way. "Okay, so what if he is? You know him better than I do. Where would he go? What would he run towards?"

Dick sits for a long moment, trying to come up with something, but he can't think of anything that Tim has ever run towards - with the exception of Robin. He gets to his feet and starts pacing before flipping into a headstand and resuming his pacing on his hands. He feels like such an utter failure. Surely, he should be able to come up with something that would make his little brother feel safe and whole again - something that would be the boy's lifeline - but all that he keeps coming back to is Robin. "I have no idea."

They're both quiet for a time before Jason nudges him with his foot when he comes close to the bed. "So, where would he go when Bruce was being an insane prick?"

"Bruce wasn't…" Dick starts, but Jason cuts him off.

"Look, you loved him and you don't like speaking ill of the dead, and that's fine and great and all, but come on. That man could be a bastard, and you know it. Hell, you ran all the way to Bludhaven and then New York to get away from him, so where would Tim go?"

Dick merely shrugs. "I don't know. Me, I guess. I mean, when he wasn't out running around, blowing off steam as Robin or hanging with the Titans, he would come to Bludhaven or New York and we'd hang out; but a lot of the time I would have to drag him out there, you know? He'd just hole up somewhere, usually his room, and drown in all of his insecurities. He was so afraid of being a burden."

Jason hums in thought for a long moment. "What's the likelihood that he's made his way back to Gotham?"

Dick flips back to his feet, and shakes his head. He doesn't know the answer to that. He isn't even sure if Gotham is somewhere Tim would want to be; if he still considers it his home. "I don't know. What's the probability of someone in Tim's current state being able to get a flight from here back to Gotham? I mean, he was in nothing but an oversized t-shirt with no identification on him, and sure, that certainly wouldn't stop any Robin, but he's not exactly himself at this precise moment, right? That's gotta count for something."

Jason shrugs. "I don't know how much the pit messed with him. I assume it's different for everyone, and it's not like we have much to go on. We already know none of the locals have seen anyone matching his description, but again, any Robin would be able to stay hidden if they needed or wanted to do so."

"Tim more so than any of us. He's spent his entire life being unassuming, and I doubt a bout of pit rage could change that - unless, you think otherwise. I mean, you've been through this before, right?" Dick really doesn't like bringing up Jason's return and subsequent dip in the Lazarus Pit, and he's sure Jason doesn't appreciate it anymore than he does, but Dick's at his wits' end and doesn't have any other leads.

Jason sighs. It's a sound of bone-weary exhaustion, and yet, so much more. "It's incomparable, Dick. My rage was fueled by so much: the lack of being avenged, being replaced, feeling like I had no place on this earth and should have stayed dead. It was a mess. I was a mess - and Tim, Tim isn't the same as I was. He's never been the same as me. This entire situation is contradistinctive. Tim doesn't feel replaced."

Dick heaves a large breath as he sinks back down onto the bed. "No, he feels betrayed. He feels like we killed him - because we did."

Jason punches him again. This time far less intensely, as though Jason has lost his strength during this conversation. "Look, there's nothing we can do about that. All we can do is find Tim, and…"

"And what? He'll never trust us again - never trust me again - and he's right not to. We… I…"

Jason kicks him again, right in Dick's bad knee, as hard as he can. Dick has to suck in a breath and hold it to keep from crying out at the spark of pain that shoots through his entire leg. "That's enough! We did what we had to, and I will continue to tell you that until you fucking get it. We didn't have any other fucking option. Now, I'm going out to look for him again." Jason gets up and grabs his jacket. "Are you fucking coming?"

Dick stretches out his leg a few times to make sure everything is still working, and then slowly gets to his feet. He gradually puts pressure on his now reinjured leg to confirm that it can withstand the weight. When his knee doesn't give out on him, Dick nods. "Yeah, I'm coming."

Jason throws open the motel room door as he glances back over his shoulder at Dick. "Good, and if I hear another god damn word out of you, I'm going to kick your ass. Got it?"

Dick gives him a tiny smile. "Got it, and thanks, Jay."

Jason huffs out a breath. "Yeah, whatever."

Dick is so happy that he has Jason. He knows that he would be completely lost without him, instead of just mostly lost. He takes a deep breath and tries to focus on their task. Dick has to believe that Jason is right - that they will find Tim and they will find a way to make this right. He doesn't have any other choice.

The End (for now)


	9. Chapter 9

Jason's exhausted when they finally get off of the plane, and Dick doesn't look that much better. They could probably both sleep for a week straight, and still be tired. They spent weeks searching for Tim before Jason finally, after a fairly lengthy discussion, convinced Dick that Tim had probably found his way back by now. After all, Gotham is important to Tim. It always has been - even Jason knows that. Tim loves Gotham. He believes in the city much the same way that Bruce did, and more importantly, Tim has always found his way back to Gotham, or at least that's what Dick said. So, Gotham is where they are - not that Jason actually believes that they're going to find Tim here. The city is massive, and he's not counting on their extensive knowledge of the place to work in their favor at all…not when Tim has the same extensive knowledge and the will to hide.

Not to mention, if Jason were truly honest with himself, he would have to admit that he actually has no idea if Tim would still return to Gotham. Not now that Tim knows most of his family is dead and what's left of it has betrayed him. It doesn't matter what Jason tells Dick, he knows that there's no way to fix what they've done…no possible way for them to make up for everything, but he's not giving up. He can't give up…not after he promised that, no matter what, he'd stick this out. So, as the two of them slump next to each other in the taxi back to the manor, Jason keeps quiet and focuses solely on devising the best search grid to follow once they've settled in.

However, Jason doesn't plan on doing a damn thing until they've both slept for at least six hours. He's about to tell Dick such when the man suddenly pulls him into a hug. "Maybe we shouldn't have left."

Jason sighs. They've been over this more times than he can count. "Yeah, well, we're here, so deal."

Dick's hold only tightens. "Do you think we'll find him?"

"Yeah, we will." His voice is filled with a conviction that Jason, quite frankly, doesn't feel. He's hoping that if he repeats himself enough, then they'll both start to believe it. Jason doesn't think that it's likely, but at this point, lying and hoping are really all that he has. He doesn't bother to push Dick away - despite how much he wants to - knowing that Dick needs the contact more than Jason needs to isolate himself. Jason's also too damn worn-out to even pretend to go through their bickering and age-old fight, so instead, he busies himself with digging into his back pocket for the cash to pay the cabby. They're still a fair distance from the manor, but having something to do with his hands makes Jason feel better, even if only slightly.

Dick only lets go once they arrive in front of the manor, and that probably has more to do with the fact that it's physically impossible for them to get out of the vehicle with Dick's arms still around Jason than anything else. Jason puts Dick in charge of grabbing their bags while he pays the taxi driver an exorbitant amount just to make the guy's day a little better than theirs. They only have one bag each, so it's not as though Dick can't manage it. The two of them shuffle their way up the path leading to the front door, practically asleep on their feet.

There hasn't been anyone to answer the door in years, which means there's no one to shame Jason into taking off his boots or do anything more than just pass out wherever he feels like. The thought has Jason silently considering just flopping face first onto the couch in the den. There's no reason for him to drag himself all the way up to the second floor to sleep, and the couch is just as comfortable as any bed. There's a voice in his head that sounds distinctly like Alfred telling him it would be best to sleep in his own bed for various reasons, but Jason ignores it in favor of unlocking the door, fully intending to leave locking it and rearming the security codes to Dick.

However, Jason never gets that far, because the moment they're both through the doorway, a knife goes flying towards his face, and it's only his extensive training that has him rolling out of the way in time to avoid losing an eye. He grabs for the gun he always keeps on him, and turns to find black boots that lead up into what he can see of a black body suit with a grey utility belt fastened around the waist of a very feral-looking Tim, who's glaring directly at him. Apparently, Tim's been busy while Jason and Dick were wasting time looking for him. The boy has foregone a mask, cape, or any other distinguishing markings that are reminiscent of any other suits Jason has seen him wear. There are no symbols that affiliate him with anyone, and Tim's armed to the teeth.

Jason recognizes the insane gleam in Tim's eyes as the pit rage, which Jason knows from firsthand experience is always more justified than anyone ever thinks. That's the danger of the pit, after all. It takes all of that vindicated anger, pain, and fear and turns it into something else entirely. It convinces the person that the things he would never have done before are a good idea…the only idea, and then…well, then, if the person is a former Robin, apparently he ends up attacking his family.

Jason doesn't think talking to Tim will help, but he can understand why Dick tries. "Tim…Timmy…Timmers, it's us. Stop this. Please, just stop this."

The plea is evident in Dick's voice and it seems to only enrage Tim more. He grabs another knife and throws it at Dick, who manages to dodge it rather sloppily, all things considered. Neither one of them has the energy for a drawn out battle, but Jason can't see any other way for this to end. "I knew you'd come back here, eventually." Tim's eyes practically glow in the dark as he stalks towards them. "I knew you'd try to find me…try to convince me that you're on my side, but I won't let you…not this time. I thought about just wiring the place to blow, but then I wanted you to know that you can't win this time. That I won't die at your hands ever again, and that, for once, you're at my mercy."

Dick glances over to Jason with the most beseeching expression that Jason has ever seen on the other man's face, but Jason doesn't know what Dick wants from him. He doesn't have any answers. Sure, he did the whole attack the family thing and he even planned out and executed a strategy to blow up the batmobile with Bruce in it, only to stop at the last moment when he realized that all he wanted was for Bruce to know who had finally gotten the better of him. However, Jason doesn't think that it's about that to Tim. After all, Jason didn't blame his family for his death, and he'd be shocked if Tim didn't, because…it was their fault. They killed him, and they deserve this…deserve whatever Tim has in store for them.

Jason believes that wholeheartedly, but he also believes that they can't fix any of this if they're dead. He doesn't know how to fix any this, of course. Hell, he doesn't know much of anything beyond stay alive, but he's willing to try. The two of them dive out of the way as Tim attacks with two swords. He's using every technique he's ever been taught - and not just by Bruce. Jason really wants to punch the person who gave Tim a fixation with eyes. Jason can tell that he's playing with them, making them roll out of the way when he could be making them bleed and pay with pain. The boy knows how tired they are, and he has every intention of letting them use the rest of their energy, so he can easily execute whatever scheme he's designed for them. Jason can see it in the way that the other man moves, and the taunting laughter every time he does manage to slice into their skin, leaving stripes of red seeping down their limbs.

This is all just a game to Tim. At least, this part of his plan is, and Jason's not naïve enough to believe that Tim doesn't have a long and eventually lethal plan for both Dick and him. He can see the intent in Tim's eyes and knows it well from looking into his own every day in the bathroom mirror. It's been years since Jason had that much rage flowing through him, but he remembers it all the same, and he knows without a doubt that there's nothing Tim won't do to win this…no technique he won't utilize, which means that Jason really only has one move left.

He doesn't want to do it…doesn't want to hurt Tim any more than they already have, but Jason knows that he doesn't have a choice. Tim has him backed into a corner, and there's nothing else Dick or he can do. Jason either takes the only opening he has or they both end up dead. That knowledge, however, doesn't make any of this better. Jason ducks behind a priceless vase that's been there since he was a child living in the manor, waits for Tim to go after Dick with all the fury of someone who's nothing but a ball of raw nerves, trying to make sense of why the people he loves killed him, and then Jason makes his move.

The moment Dick flips out of the way of one of Tim's blades, Jason shoots Tim in the left shoulder. Tim yells out in both ire and pain as he drops the sword in his left hand, and spins around to attack Jason. Jason knew the shot wasn't going to be enough to stop Tim, which is why he's already launching the vase he was ducking behind at Tim. Tim slices through the vase with the sword he's still holding, and Jason follows with an elbow to the face. Tim is only dazed for a moment, but it's long enough to Jason to kick the blade away.

However, Jason pays for it dearly when Tim stabs him in the thigh with a boot knife. He was stupid for thinking the pain of the shoulder wound would stop Tim from using that hand, but Jason doesn't really have time to worry about that. Tim gets to his feet and is stalking closer to him with a murderous glare that Jason has never before seen on the younger man's face. Jason is starting to weigh the merits of putting a hole through Tim's other shoulder when Dick - who has spent the majority of this fight dodging and trying to get his little brother to see reason - jumps on Tim's back and gets him into a choke hold.

Jason dives for Tim, making sure that he can't use his arms and tries to block out the sound of Dick's voice as he whispers to Tim. "It'll be okay. Don't fight it. We're sorry. We're going to take care of you now. We're so damn sorry, Timmy. None of this was supposed to happen. We still love you."

Jason isn't sure when Tim finally falls unconscious, but he knows it's some time before Dick starts sobbing and stroking Tim's hair as he rocks his still-bleeding baby brother in his arms. Jason leaves him there for a moment while he pulls off his shirt and uses it as a makeshift bandage for both his leg and Tim's shoulder wound. "Come on, big bird. We better get him restrained and administer proper medical care before he wakes up." Dick doesn't budge and Jason merely sighs as he hoists Tim's limp form into his arms. He really doesn't know how they're supposed to fix any of this at all.

The End (for now)


End file.
